“When I was ready to push, my OB put my legs in stirrups and broke my water without permission. He then forced me to push on my back - I felt so trapped. He said I was bleeding a lot, so he inserted Cytotec into my rectum without permission.”

Obstetric abuse really happens, and happens a lot. And it’s totally unnecessary.

This doctor could have asked if rupturing this woman’s membranes was something that she wanted. He could have given her freedom of movement so she didn’t feel trapped. And he could have, at the very least, explained what he was doing and why with regard to Cytotec administration, even if there was a lot of bleeding and no time for discussion.

But he didn’t. Why? Maybe he didn’t care. Maybe he felt it would take too long.Maybe he only learned “old school” ways of doing things, didn’t pay attention during any of his updated continuing education, and believed he was helping.

Maybe he knew he didn't have to because, no matter the outcome, it would be almost impossibile to hold him accountable in court. Maybe he didn’t want her to make choices, because he’s smarter and wears a white coat and should be in charge.

Whatever the reason, this mistreatment of women has to stop. And it’s not going to stop from the inside, so it STARTS WITH YOU.

It starts with educating yourself about what often happens in hospitals, and about all of your options, so you know what to expect if you give birth there.

It starts with SHARING THIS with your friends, even if it seems depressing, because you know what’s even MORE depressing? Postpartum depression (or anxiety, or PTSD) brought on by trauma or physical injury (leaving you with incontinence, hysterectomy, nerve pain…) that could have been avoided.

So please, do your friends a favor and don’t let them go into their birth blind. Let them know what they’re up against so they have a fighting chance.