Opening yourself up on the internet means that you will find a lot of support, but also some SERIOUS CRITICISM. Especially with the topics that surround birth, there is so much emotion, and it’s often hard to separate the emotion from the facts.
I know that, as the Birth Uprising community grows, I have to put in place some safeguards for myself, since I am a person too. I have feelings. I get hurt by what others say.
What I’m grappling with lately, however, is what to do when the person accusing me of something, or LASHING OUT, is just doing it from a PLACE OF HURT. These people are the ones I want to help - the ones who were not given choices or information - the ones who ended up with UNNECESSARY TRAUMA.
The problem is, they don’t recognize it that way. They see the information I share and feel GUILT, SHAME, and SADNESS, and they think that I’m the cause. But they don’t dig into that - they don’t look deeper and see that it was the result of something that was done to them that was probably unnecessary. It has nothing to do with me. The information that I posted was just a trigger, and they came upon it without warning.
My posts are to provide information - to give OPTIONS and CHOICES to those who are not given any by their care providers. They are to help people question what is “normal” and “necessary”, and to have discussions about what really is best for their personal situation. My posts are NEVER to judge someone’s choice or story. There would be absolutely no point in that. What happened to you wasn’t your fault. You can’t change it. But you can learn and help yourself, and others, to not have that experience in the future.
I try to approach these type of interactions with care, because I know these people aren’t angry at me, they’re just hurting. I’m not always the best at it, since it’s hard to not get upset when someone attacks you. But if I can get someone to recognize their hurt and open up, maybe I can help them. Maybe I can give them the support I wish I had after my trauma. Maybe they can heal.